Sunday, March 28, 2010

Be Yourself

"To be nobody but yourself in a world that's doing it's best to make you somebody else, is to fight the hardest battle you are ever going to fight. Never stop fighting," are words written by poet ee. cummings.
The wisdom of these words can be applied to almost any battle. I find them appropriate at this stage of my weight loss journey and take them to mean that I might be trying to push myself into a mold that really wasn't made for me and there is no way I will ever fit. Like many of us, I have been brainwashed into working toward a goal which may actually be unattainable.

Is there really any ideal weight, any ideal body? Will my arms ever be Michelle Obama toned? Will my thighs ever not jiggle? My tummy absolutely flat? I think it's time to reevaluate my goals. What is right for me? Will I know when I've reached the point where I am happy with myself, with my body, my weight? I've always dreamt of being thin, of walking down the street, holding my head up high and being proud of how I look. Can't I do that now?

Being just six pounds from my goal, I look like a thin person. I could fool almost anyone into believing I am thin. But I don't fit the image in my mind. So I think it is time to take a second look, time to learn to be happy with what I have accomplished, to appreciate how I look. My current battle is with my own perception, I need to stop fighting to fit into the Tyra Banks, Barbie doll, Victoria Secret molds. Watch this video and see how what we are striving for isn't even real. Perfection doesn't exist.

How will you know when you have reached your weight loss goal? Is it just a number or is it more than that?

Photo Tag!

I've been tagged by Patsy at Musings on a 100 lbs+ Weight Loss Journey.

Here are the rules of photo tag:

1. Go to your first photo file and pick the 10th photo in it.
2. Tell the story behind the photo.
3. Tag 5 other people to do likewise.

This is a photo of one of Yoko Ono's notorious art projects, the Wish Tree. It was taken in November 2008 in one of the trendy plazas I stumbled upon while wandering around the streets of L.A. Twenty-one myrtle trees were filled with white tags on which people had written their fondest wishes. Outdoor tables held baskets of blank tags and pencils, so without hesitation, I sat down and wrote my own wish.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

And That's No Lie!

Since many of you have been waiting with bated breath to find out the truth about me, here it goes:

1. True. I did live in a thatched roof beach house in Samana, D.R. It was a self-sufficient, island paradise where I lived out a dream.
2. True. If the Jefferson County Fair counts, I did win a blue ribbon for my Black Forest Cheesecake. It was a rich, creamy indulgence, now a distant memory. Boo hoo.

3. True. My first taste of real food was actually chocolate. I can't really blame my wonderful mother for giving in to my longing looks as she was enjoying a Hershey Bar. She caved in and let me lick her fingers. Although I gave up Hershey's for the "good stuff", I went on to become a card carrying chocoholic.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Crash Course in Accepting Compliments

The truth finally hit home today, I don't know how to accept a compliment. My boyfriend mentioned this several times and I dismissed it as just another one of his complaints but today, when my hairdresser exclaimed at how much weight I've lost, I poo-pooed it as no big deal. Being the outspoken Trinidadian she is, Debbie set me straight. "You should be proud of what you've accomplished, girl," she said in her typical Caribbean style. And she is 100% correct.

So I ask you, since you are slowly becoming thinner and more lovely ever day, do you know how to accept a compliment? Do you feel good having people tell you how terrific you are looking, or does it make you a tad uncomfortable. Just as we look in the mirror and still see fat (no matter how many pounds we've lost), maybe deep down we somehow feel that we don't deserve such compliments.