Sunday, March 28, 2010

Be Yourself

"To be nobody but yourself in a world that's doing it's best to make you somebody else, is to fight the hardest battle you are ever going to fight. Never stop fighting," are words written by poet ee. cummings.
The wisdom of these words can be applied to almost any battle. I find them appropriate at this stage of my weight loss journey and take them to mean that I might be trying to push myself into a mold that really wasn't made for me and there is no way I will ever fit. Like many of us, I have been brainwashed into working toward a goal which may actually be unattainable.

Is there really any ideal weight, any ideal body? Will my arms ever be Michelle Obama toned? Will my thighs ever not jiggle? My tummy absolutely flat? I think it's time to reevaluate my goals. What is right for me? Will I know when I've reached the point where I am happy with myself, with my body, my weight? I've always dreamt of being thin, of walking down the street, holding my head up high and being proud of how I look. Can't I do that now?

Being just six pounds from my goal, I look like a thin person. I could fool almost anyone into believing I am thin. But I don't fit the image in my mind. So I think it is time to take a second look, time to learn to be happy with what I have accomplished, to appreciate how I look. My current battle is with my own perception, I need to stop fighting to fit into the Tyra Banks, Barbie doll, Victoria Secret molds. Watch this video and see how what we are striving for isn't even real. Perfection doesn't exist.


How will you know when you have reached your weight loss goal? Is it just a number or is it more than that?

22 comments:

Miss S. said...

I do think our goals should be more than a number on the scale, but it has to be up to each of us to figure out exactly what it is.

Mine is a size 10. I could care less about the scale-I literally only weigh in for blogging purposes, but my health (and yours) means more than a number.

Miss S. said...

I wouldn't let the number define you. I weigh in for blogging purposes only. But you have to decide what measures your own success.

I'm Loving my Complicated Life! said...

I really appreciated this! Thanks!

Allison

Superwoman Spirit said...

That video is crazy! Only goes to show what we see is NOT real and we need to realize that we are beautiful just the way that we are.
4 years ago I weighed 195 pounds I was lazy, pudgy, miserable and ate emotionally every day. Last April I weighed 214 and felt the same.
Today I weigh 193, feel amazing, am active, eat healthy and look fit.
My point is that the number is not what matters it is what you do each day to be HEALTHY. You can weigh 200 pounds and be fit at a size 12-14 and weigh 200 pounds unfit and be a size 18-20.
The key is fitness and activity. After many battles with the scale I have finally realized it.
Just enjoy each day and when YOU feel healthy and happy that is your perfect size. No one else is in control of that.
Great post!

manxnick said...

nice articles. keep writing......

Jules - Big Girl Bombshell said...

What a powerful post! When will you ever know that you are there? When you choose to be there! It's as simple and as hard as that! Instead of making goals, and just achieving them,that often leaves an emptiness once we get there..so we have to look for something else instead of just being OK! Thank you so much for sharing this...I learned a great deal today!

Drazil said...

I left you an award on my blog!

Debi a.k.a. Weight Watcher Chic... said...

Wow....
And imagine how many young girls have never seen this video or who don't even know that this takes place. It's mind boggling...and sad.
Thank you for sharing it.
Health is the main key to feeling good...to feeling comfortable in your own skin. When we feel good on the inside, we show it on the outside. That right there is the ultimate goal to reach I think.

We tend to begin this journey with a set point and and end point. But, I'm thinking, we never come to a complete end. We are always learning and always changing.
Leave yourself open to the learning (as I know you have) and embrace the changes. Your outside will eventually catch up to the inside.
Great Post!
Debi
Second Journey

Lynda with a Y said...

I just finished reading the book Amazing Adventures of Dietgirl. In the epilogue, she decides that she won't be fixated on the number on a scale, but how she feels about herself: healthy, fit and strong.

Mimi said...

That video is really powerful. Thanks for posting!

Reen said...

How will I know when I'm where I want to be? Hmm, funny you should ask. I've been asking the same question myself. Let me know if you figure it out.

JourneyBeyondSurvival said...

I will know when I'm maintaining a 'healthy weight' with an hour or less of exercise a day. Also, I think it is a mental thing too. Where I-like you-need to appreciate myself for what I am. Not what I want to be.

I cannot be some weird combination of all my favorite body parts I've ever seen. I am basically the same body with air let out. And I'm fabulous, once I notice.

Bobbie's Babbles said...

At 47, I've pretty much given up on fitting the model norm. I'm not 5'10" and never will be. Nor will I ever weigh less than 100 pounds. You are right, it's what you are comfortable feeling and being. I know that I feel my best when the scale says 135. I know this because when I felt that I looked "great", I weighted myself. I can fit into a size 6 pants at 135-143, but at 140, those pants don't feel as comfortable nor look as good. So, I don't use the scale, I just know the number that corresponds to my feeling really good.

Joan Nova said...

Another insightful and perceptive post, Ellen. It sounds like you know, you've arrived. The next battle is staying there and I'm sure you've got your feet firmly planted in the right direction. Congratulations on your accomplishment.

Betty Rubble said...

GREAT POST!

My ideal is a weight-and its 180 pounds. That is far more than any other 5ft 5in person would want, but for me I know what I look like at 180 and I look GOOD.

The average woman is a size 12-14. Certainly NOT the mold that the media and the entertainment industry project as beautiful is it?

M said...

It's so hard to be happy with who we are. We have to remind ourselves we are our own person-not like movie stars and other performers.

Nona said...

I guess we all have to come to a place where we love and accept ourselves for who we are regardless of our weight.

I have a specific number I'm aiming for weight wise because I've been there before and I know how comfortable I felt in my own body. I want that comfort again ... that ability to run and jump and play without my joints hurting. That's pure freedom to me.

Linda at Bar Mitzvahzilla said...

I've learned that I'll never see what's in the mirror accurately. When I was fat I saw only my head and I thought it looked pretty good. Now I can imagine a lot of stuff, especially with a ten-year-old daughter standing next to me half the time asking me about my c-section scar!

So since I know that it's a problem with the way I see, I ignore the negative image in the mirror. I try to get my clothes on fast :) and can use that as a reasonable gauge. If a size 6 fits and I'm 5'6, guess what? I'm not fat! I'm just nuts.

Diz said...

Girl I nominated you for a blog award. :) Come and get it!

KatDoesDiets said...

So true that there is no perfect...I used to think that was what I was striving for, but I am so over that now! I took a stab in the dark guess at my goal weight, but I think I'll know when I get there. Something I can maintain is important to me.

Successfully Slim said...

That's a great poem. It reminds me of a favourite quote of mine "Be yourself because everyone else is taken" :)

WillEatForComfort said...

Great video. It really helps to put things (back) into perspective.

Right now, I'm avoiding the scale. It just hasnt been working for me and it's more discouragement than encouragement. I'm going with how I feel, how my clothes fit, and how I think I look. I hope one day I can feel great about my body. I'm working on it!