Sunday, June 20, 2010

Self Sabotage


I am so close to goal I can almost touch it! It should be a breeze to take off the last three pounds but, to the contrary, it's shaping up to be the most difficult three pounds of all. I am not sure if it is my body fighting to hold onto those last ounces of fat or my unconscious self refusing to accept the fact that I deserve to be thin. In any event, I am finding it more and more difficult to fight those urges to eat. Oh, I am not into the cookie jar or stopping at the donut shop on the way to work like I used to, but it has become a struggle not to munch on an energy bar when I really don't need it (they sure are packed with calories) or slip in an extra carb-filled snack at night.

This weekend is especially difficult because I am all alone. If someone else were around I wouldn't indulge, but being alone - it's rough. I skipped my water aerobics class this morning, too. I'm a bad girl who is rationalizing that it's OK to take a dieting break for the weekend.

Why, when we are so close to everything we have worked so long and hard to achieve, do we engage in self-destructive behavior? More importantly, what can we do to get back on track and stay there?

First of all, I can't entertain thoughts that I am failing. I remember how good I've been doing and all those old clothes that would never fit my new body.

Second, I need to get rid of all those no-no's lurking in the cupboards and the fridge. If I can't handle having them around, then I'll get rid of them.

Third, I'll take another look at the latest photos of myself, or better yet, try on some new clothes and be proud of how good I'm looking.

And lastly, I must not forget that I love myself. I can't lose sight of my goals. Something may taste amazingly good but it doesn't last. Once the stack of pancakes are gone, once the carton of ice cream is finished, or the pizza is only a memory on the bottom of a cardboard box, I'll be left with that aftertaste of guilt. It really isn't worth it.

My advice to myself, take a bite or two, or even three and throw the rest away. What sage advice will you offer? I'm eagerly listening...

17 comments:

Karen@WaistingTime said...

I am the same way - the closer I am to goal, or when I am there, the more I slip. I always wondered about the self sabotage concept. One thought I have for you, from several other blogs I have read, is maybe your body is happy here, without losing the last three pounds. If you can eat what you want and still maintain, it might be a good place to be. Or you can try what I have figured out that I need to do - rededicate to the stuff I did in the beginning that worked so well and cut out the little things I allowed myself to add back in as I got close to goal. Sigh. For me it seems like it is always a struggle. Good luck!

Bobbie's Babbles said...

We are scared of success. Been there, done that. Tell yourself that your life isn't going to change if you are 2,4,6 pounds lighter. Don't make it a "make or break" deal. About today, go to the movies, shopping, to the park with a book, something not about you!! Good luck!

Miss S. said...

I am not close to goal, but I say don't deprive. The one or two bite sounds good. And really savor it.You'll be there in no time!

Miss S. said...

I am not close to goal, but I say don't deprive. The one or two bite sounds good. And really savor it.You'll be there in no time!

Reen said...

I completely understand where you are right now. I was there a little over a year ago, struggling to get those "last 3 pounds off". Hang in there. Keep fighting the fight. You'll get there. I struggled, struggled, struggled, then one day, hopped on the scale, and there it was, GOAL!

Get anything out of the house that is not going to help you reach your goal. Change up your routine, try something new, and most of all, Keep Loving Yourself. Believe In Yourself!

IT WILL HAPPEN!

Friend of the Bear said...

Hi Ellen. I don't have any earth shattering ideas I'm afraid.

Not sure how long you've been trying to get rid of those last 3 pounds. If it's many months then I'd say Stop Trying. 3 pounds is nothing. It's the difference between your clothes being a smidgen looser or not.

Making a positive decision to maintain from this point will be a huge psychological relief. You will no longer have any thoughts of failure to try to fight. Because YOU'RE NOT A FAILURE. YOU'RE A HUGE SUCCESS!!!!

Maintaining will allow you to budget in those items which you feel are tripping you up at the moment. You will remove the psychological deprivation you are under. And you can truly see what maintaining at this weight is like and how to handle it.

Remember - you can always chose to lose more weight at some point in the future. This journey is never over.

Bearfriend xx

Becky the Design Lady said...

I've thought about self sabotage a lot. We all do it.
In my case, I've struggled with my weight and trying to lose it my whole life. Almost reached my goal once.
The struggle is such a part of me, I don't know how to be without it. What happens when I reach goal? What will I obsess about then? What if my life isn't any different? Arghhhhh!

We are all so different (duh!) Personally, taking a few bites and then tossing something I know I should stay away from is a bad idea. I would eat the whole thing.

Hang in there. You can do this. What happens if you don't take off those last few pounds? Will you quit and start putting it all back on again? Or will you take the focus off the scale and enjoy your fabulous body and embrace being healthy?

Big Clyde said...

I have no good advice for you. But you seem to be so aware of what is left, the challenges you are facing and you seem very determined. You can do this!

Sonya @ Eyes on the Hourglass said...

You can do this! You got it. Don't let your mind tell you otherwise!

Mimi said...

Those last few pounds are a killer. Just dig your heels in and keep at it. It WILL happen. Think success, baby!!!!

Googie said...

You can do this!! Are those three pounds a really big deal? Are you happy with still having those three pounds on?

Linda Pressman said...

Ellen, I eat fruit at night because I know I'll never be happy eating nothing while the rest of the family is bingeing their hearts out. And it may sound crazy, but even some diet orange pop makes me really happy, like I'm having a treat, when I'm done eating for the day.

M said...

I've been asking the same question myself. Self-sabotage is so real. We do have to remind ourselves how far we've come. You can do this.

Kathleen said...

I do the same. The more weight I lose, the harder it gets. why? I have been two months without losing a pound. It is so frustrating.
Hugs, Kathleen

Bringing Pretty Back said...

How frustrating for you to be so close to your goal! You can do it!
Keep going!

Bonita Gordita said...

Gosh, I'm the same way. I don't know what it is or why it is. But our mind and ourselves is the biggest obstacle, isn't it?

Good luck to you, hon. You'll get there. :)

www.alicante-3d.com said...

It won't truly have success, I suppose this way.