I am so close to goal I can almost touch it! It should be a breeze to take off the last three pounds but, to the contrary, it's shaping up to be the most difficult three pounds of all. I am not sure if it is my body fighting to hold onto those last ounces of fat or my unconscious self refusing to accept the fact that I deserve to be thin. In any event, I am finding it more and more difficult to fight those urges to eat. Oh, I am not into the cookie jar or stopping at the donut shop on the way to work like I used to, but it has become a struggle not to munch on an energy bar when I really don't need it (they sure are packed with calories) or slip in an extra carb-filled snack at night.
This weekend is especially difficult because I am all alone. If someone else were around I wouldn't indulge, but being alone - it's rough. I skipped my water aerobics class this morning, too. I'm a bad girl who is rationalizing that it's OK to take a dieting break for the weekend.
Why, when we are so close to everything we have worked so long and hard to achieve, do we engage in self-destructive behavior? More importantly, what can we do to get back on track and stay there?
First of all, I can't entertain thoughts that I am failing. I remember how good I've been doing and all those old clothes that would never fit my new body.
Second, I need to get rid of all those no-no's lurking in the cupboards and the fridge. If I can't handle having them around, then I'll get rid of them.
Third, I'll take another look at the latest photos of myself, or better yet, try on some new clothes and be proud of how good I'm looking.
And lastly, I must not forget that I love myself. I can't lose sight of my goals. Something may taste amazingly good but it doesn't last. Once the stack of pancakes are gone, once the carton of ice cream is finished, or the pizza is only a memory on the bottom of a cardboard box, I'll be left with that aftertaste of guilt. It really isn't worth it.
My advice to myself, take a bite or two, or even three and throw the rest away. What sage advice will you offer? I'm eagerly listening...