No Thanks, Spanx!

As a teenaged girl, my mother encouraged me to squeeze into a panty girdle, which was somewhat de rigueur back in the 60's. This tight contraption. which went from the waist to the bottom of the thighs, was worn under everything - dresses, skirts and pants. It smoothed the figure and eliminated bulges. It also acted as a kind of chastity belt because it was almost impossible to be naughty while wearing one, which might be why so many mothers bought them for their daughters. From the 1920's through the 70's girdles were a part of every woman's wardrobe.

You can imagine how happy I was when they went out of style, although I usually left mine abandoned at the back of my underwear drawer. Then skirts got shorter and girdles were impractical and went out of style. That's when panyhose came into fashion. Basically, they had the same function, to give women a smooth silhouette from waist to toes. Control top squeezed my middle and eliminated the jiggle but putting them on involved a death defying dance. One wrong tug and a hole or run would prove to be a disaster to this costly invention (the credit most certainly has to be given to a man).

When I moved to a warmer climate the first thing to go was my pantyhose. I love the freedom of bare legs! Sure, pantyhose hid a multitude of flaws but, hey, unless I am getting dressed to the 9's, they have taken that spot in my drawer once occupied by the pantygirdle.

And now we have Spanx! Have you tried them? I splurged and bought a pair. I went home and eagerly pushed, pulled and tugged to get it on. I tried the kind that went from just under the breast to the end of the thigh. They brought back memories of my teenage days but now there was a lot more to hold in. OK, I looked pretty smooth under that little black dress, but what would my man think when he slid his arms around me and felt this elastic armor? The very idea was an embarassment. They came off a lot more easily than they went on, and now can be found next to the discarded pantyhose.

I might have bulges and I most certainly jiggle, but I am comfotable in my skin. How about you?